Love me for who I am.
Michelle Tham is my name. Jesca is a name I'm trying to forget. Meiqian is what my family and relatives call me by. I live with my parents, and intend to still live with them even if I ever get married. Drama, acting, singing are my passions which are slowly dying over the years, sadly. Indecisive as I am, I am an Aries, a rather rash and spontaneous person at times. I don't usually talk alot, but I sure listen alot. I always think that the ability to listen first before speaking is very important. Yet, because of that, sometimes people think that I listen and not care thereafter. Well, sometimes I do forget cos of my bad short term memory. Other times, most of the time, I just prefer to think through carefully, on all situations before I speak. I treasure my friends alot. Most of the time, I put them above boyfriend. HAHA. I may look mature, seem mature, but actually secretly desire to go crazy. I'm just waiting for someone as spontaneous to bring me along. Passive nature I guess. I enjoy looking through old photos that I decided to make a wall of memories at home. Its a collation of all the photos over the years. I'm glad it brought loads of joy for my relatives as well when they came over during Chinese New Year. I'm not getting any younger anymore. 22nd is a birthday that I've stopped counting down to.

I always think that my life hasn't been easy. In fact, it wasn't easy because life was too smooth for a start. And that made it hard to sustain and maintain. A child who actually asks her parents to not buy her toys cos its too expensive. A child who actually smiles at getting assessment books as birthday present?!?! you know what I mean? I'm always placed in an awkward position whenever it comes to relationships. I'm responsible for my parents, alone, from the most important and toughest stage in their lives. I happen to always face the toughest things alone due to many misunderstandings with people or just bad circumstances. Life isn't easy, at home and outside. It wasn't easy to love my parents with a father who doesn't even bother to remember my birthday or my age, or to love a mother who canes me when I get 95 marks. It wasn't easy to love my sisters who don't play with me when I was young, or scold me for not studying when I almost killed myself. I used to hate them, to be honest. But of cos, deep down, I know that they still love me. Even when they failed to understand me, I also know that I failed to tell them about my circumstances. Most of the time, because I had something to hide from them. And I had to hide some things from them because, well... I would now say its a scar that I want to hide now. In a way, I don't know if I made the family change to how the way things are now. Sometimes I feel guilty for that. Like, I'm not having an easy time yet I made it harder for us all as well.

Nevertheless, my life has its brightful side. I enjoyed many moments of my life. And I treasure them. Though some may be both a joy and a hurt simultaneously.
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